2018, you brought much adventure, moving to North Carolina, starting life there with my husband, however, you brought an abundant amount of confusion, anger, grief and happiness. My first year of marriage, trying to figure out the dos and the donts the good, the bad and the ugly. You taught me that commitment is always meeting the other half way, it’s a never ending compromise, it’s seriously loving each other unconditionally through the mountains and the valleys, and it’s watching an episode of friends or the office before bedtime. I also had to make room for a second commitment with the marine corps. Juggling two is no walk in the park. There were times I felt like the mistress to the military, but don’t get it confused, I still have the upmost respect for what my husband does. I just won’t sugarcoat it for you nor tell you it’s been easy.

2018, you were the most difficult year of my life. It was a year I couldn’t wait to live with my husband, start our life together, but it was also a year I dragged my feet, because I knew I would have to face a deployment eight months into our marriage. A year where I was walking each step with an abundant amount of heaviness, anxiety flooding my heart and fear paralyzing my happiness. But. I learned to cherish every moment big or small. Through the happy tears and through the sad, there was and still there is purpose in the pain. I Iearned the true meaning to take nothing for granted. I have learned to go with the flow as best as I can. I’ve learned to be more of a flower than a controller of my life AND that’s huge for me.

2019, I don’t know what you hold, but I do know who holds my 2019. When the flood gates are too much for me to handle, I’ll look to you even more. I want to live out God’s Will, I want to be incredibly silent that I don’t miss even the slightest whisper. When I don’t have the answers to the all the whys, I will hold on to every word you say. I’ve always been one to carry a word with me into a new year or even a season and for 2019 I’ve decided on two.. peace and self-love. Being peace led in every single thing I do. I want to focus on all things peace and also focus on things that are going to build me up and not tear me down. If it’s not going to empower me, motivate me or bring me peace then I don’t want any part of it. I’ve learned it’s okay to walk away from anything or anyone that no longer serves me, makes me happy or brings peace to the table. I desire to walk confidently in all that God created me to be, to look in the mirror and love the girl I see, imperfections and all. So here’s to protecting my peace and learning to do more self-love activities, here’s to falling in love with myself. Whatever that may be, but I’m thinking yoga, more reading and being a better healthier me. Happy New Year! #thisisme

To be continued………