Oh my goodness — not sure how it happened, but I’ve officially hit milestone 3-0! These 20’s have been one heck of a ride, and I’ve learned so much along the way. For starters: I’ve learned how valuable my time is, and more importantly — who I’m surrounding myself with. I thought I’d share some of these lessons, in hopes to inspire all of you!

1. I’ve learned it is completely okay that you’re not okay. Don’t let someone decide your feelings for you. Embrace them, your emotions, for if you let them consume you, if you bottle them up, they will backfire and you’ll catch yourself in the biggest chaos of an explosion you ever thought imaginable.

2. I’ve learned heartbreak is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you get a free ride to hate that person. It simply means they were a part of your journey for a season. You can’t hate someone for changing their mind. The thing about heartbreak, it teaches us exactly what you want, and ironically in doing that, it makes you stronger.

3. I’ve learned how valuable my time is.. to be more observant of who I keep in my circle, who I let in.. who I surround myself with. You have to ask yourself the question, “Does this person better me?” “Does this person bring positivity to my life or are they draining me with negativity?” It’s not selfish, it’s being loyal to your own heart.

4. Brave.. Goodness. Be brave in all areas of your life. It’s so brave to be yourself in a world that wants you to be like some girl on a magazine cover that’s a size 00. Be brave, love again despite how damaged your heart is. Easier said than done. I know. Be brave to do something new. Be brave to stand firm in all that you believe in. Be brave to love the person you see looking back at you in the mirror. Love yourself and focus on self-care.

5. I’ve learned your mornings set the tone for the rest of your day, so spend them wisely. I’m a morning person through and through. Give me a cup of coffee and Jesus, and this girl here is set.

6. Privacy is key. How wonderful it is to be a mystery when the world begs and craves for your stories. Not everyone needs to know your business. I believe social media is the devil’s playground.

7. Exercise.. Exercising is a release and ultimately good for your soul, but goodness don’t punish yourself because society says you should be just a little bit smaller or a just a little bit bigger. Do it for you, for a healthier you.

8. New beginnings.. I have to say that the number eight is my favorite number, because it represents new beginnings. A new beginning is saying “bye” to something that no longer serves you in a positive way, saying “bye” to heartache, a new beginning is another chance to get things right.

9. Listen to music. I’ve learned that in the smallest of moments, there’s music. I believe Stephanie Henry said it best, “I hold music in my heart like the breath in my lungs, it has saved me more than once. That’s the things about music. It never leaves. It’s solid. It validates my feelings and tops off my emotions. The same way my heart reminds me of my existence, the same way my name is stitched into who I am. There are lyrics on my skin from decades ago to remind me that some years were dark but I survived in the darkness and thrived in my own light. The best of my heart is a dance, instruments holding the strings, and my song is always playing.” Music is lovely and I have a song for every occasion. If we’re friends, then you’ve played “the next song is your song game” with me you’ve lost count, haha.

10. Love.. I’ve learned that we should love more and hate less. I’ve learned that the most hurtful love is unrequited love. And with saying that, it’s just evident that you haven’t met who you’re suppose to be with yet. Yup– I believe in all that sappy stuff.

11. Silence..  is nothing short of golden. I have learned that some times in this life, it is better to be quiet. Observe and remain silent.

12. Rejection.. I’ve learned it sucks, but it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It simply means they didn’t see you for the gem that you are. Take it as a removal not rejection, God’s just making room, preparing your heart for the best to come.

13. Comparison is the ultimate joy killer. It is so so hard to do. In a world where everyone shares all their happy moments and their best selfies, remember we all are silently struggle. Social media just allows one to post the happy.

14. I’ve learned that anxiety and depression go hand and hand. They’ll steal your joy, your peace, your happiness… but I’ve learned I’m a pretty good fighter. A lot of people are oblivious to these things, but it’s not my fight nor yours to make them understand.

15. Trust.. I’ve learned lies kill trust. Trust is an essential part in relationships, if it’s gone then so is your relationship. I’ve learned that no matter the current storm, we must trust in the Lord, trust that He knows exactly the outcome of the storm, the suffering you’re going through. Even when you feel lost..

16. Forgive.. Forgiveness is hard, but it’s the true key to setting you free. Doesn’t mean you forget. In reality one never forgets.

17. Walk away.. It’s okay to utterly walk away from something that no longer serves you with respect and love. At the end of the day,  the heart simply wants what it wants, but the heart will also grow sick and tired. You’ll know when you’ve had enough. When you think you don’t have the strength, God shows up and holds your hand helping you walk away. AND. Hey.. don’t beat yourself up too hard, I know first hand how hard it is to walk away from something you care deeply for, but ask yourself this one question, “Does this person or situation bring me peace?” Be peace led always!

18. The journey.. I’ve learned that the journey can be oh so difficult, but oh so rewarding. In my 20’s, I was diagnosed with melanoma, I went through a ton of heartache, probably a lot I could have prevented but I was a “little girl” who was naive. Searching for love in a man, instead of relying on God. I depended on my will, not God’s.. The journey isn’t about the why’s but instead about the what’s. What are you going to do about it? not. Why this? Why that?

19. Joy.. Sweet joy. I think what I’ve learned most about joy is that it is always right around the corner from pain. Joy is hope in your suffering. Joy is the end result of heartache. It’s the silverlining along with hope. I’d like to think joy and hope are best friends.

20. Honesty.. Goodness how much this is good a thing, but can be hurtful. I’ve learned the truth may hurt, but it very well may be the thing you need to hear to set you free. The truth always ALWAYS reveals itself, remember that. The truth hurts, but a lie can ruin a life.

21. Let go.. It’s okay to surrender to what was and allow God to change your situation. Allow God to mend your heart. Allow Him to humble you and open your eyes to the life you have been so blessed to be living. It’s okay to finally let go. Be it a relationship, a job, a friendship..

22. I’ve learned that what you allow is exactly what will continue. If you keep going back to the rose bush over and over ignoring the pain of the thorn then expect that to happen every single time. Allow pain, then that’s what will continue, allow happiness then it’s all smiles.

23. I’ve learned that just because I’m 30 doesn’t give you the free balling right to peg me as the person who has an “internal clock clicking”. You don’t know me. What if I can’t have kids? What if I don’t want them? What if I don’t want to get married? && please, for the sake of all things chocolate. Stop asking women those questions, and don’t assume! Of course, I long for happily ever after but then again that shouldn’t be any of your business. Be careful with your words. I’m fully aware I’m now 30 and still single. BUT. that doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump ship and settle for just anyone because you think my “internal clock is clicking.”

24. Kind.. I’ve learned it absolutely costs nothing to be kind. Choose kind every second, every minute.. just be kind, because you never know what someone is battling let alone what battle God has asked them to endure.

25. I’ve learned you don’t always get what you want, but instead God gives you exactly what you need.

26. I’ve learned that you must find someone that pursues you. Don’t waste your time with anyone that doesn’t make you feel wanted, cherished, loved, respected, pursued.. the whole nine yards of those words… & by find I don’t mean knock on every single door, wait for the man that pursues you wholeheartedly. You’ll know.

27. I’ve learned insecurities are indeed real. Doesn’t mean you have control issues. It does however kill your self-esteem. Find someone that gets it, that gets you, and when you do they’ll do what it takes to shred any and every doubt.

28. Valuable.. You are valuable. Your time is valuable. Remember you’re too valued to withstand anyone that treats you anything, but good. Don’t get caught up in the world, remember what you deserve. Be it in a relationship or a friendship.. you are a treasure that someone out there is seeking. 

29. Worth..  Know your worth. Know that you weren’t meant for an abusive relationship. Your worth is more than a guy who can’t seem to make up his mind, and if that’s the case you make it up for him. Your worth isn’t in a man, but in Jesus. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of all things good. You are worthy of a happy ever after. No matter your age. YOU are enough.

30. At this tender age of 30, and as I’m typing this tears flood my eyes, I’ve learned these four words, “Thy Will Be Done”, simply being that we won’t have the answers to every hurt and suffering we endure nor every heartbreak. That no matter our plans, at the end of the day God’s plans will out weigh ours every single time. When confusion floods like an overflowing river, you send it straight to hell where it came from. When you feel like you can’t make it another second, you breathe, pray and let God take over. It’s hard. Seek Him in all areas of your life. Praying hard is praying when it’s hardest to pray. Find yourself. Trust your gut. Be adventurous. Be spontaneous. Follow and participate in ALL things peace. A heart full of peace is a life at ease. And forever say, “Thy Will Be Done”.. life is just beginning at thirty. Every day is a new day, a new beginning.